andito na naman ako..... bored pa rin as usual..... I'm so hungry I can eat a cow..... but naywayz, its mp week for some of my blockmates..... submission tomorrow, while i can sit down and post another blog..... its been a week, and boy what a week! I think my life right now, I mean RIGHT NOW, sucks, period. I dunno what to do.... I feel so... useless, stupid.... I don't really feel guilty anymore, the fact that I was supposed to be blamed for everything that happened between the two of us.... if you'll ask me if I still love her? I don't know, I don't know if I still do, I don't know if I don't.... well, I'm going to batangas tomorrow with some of my friends..... I really hope that can put some life back in me..... I feel I've lost vigor, I've lost energy in life.... for all the stupid things I've done in the past I'm paying for them now.... what a shame for myself! Oh by the way, things really go bad for me, I think I have the worst luck anyone can think of in this world for I missed that damn block pictorial for 5 MINUTES! I can't believe everything that's going on.... it just sucks.... I just hope I can go back to what I was in High School..... college is really different..... naywayz, I'll go get some chow.... i'm really hungry.... see ya' all!
P.S.: I hope ya'all know this song....
"Burnout"-sugarfree
"O wag kang tumingin ng ganyan sa akin
> Wag mo akong kulitin, wag mo akong tanungin
> Dahil katulad mo ako rin ay nagbago
> Di na tayo tulad ng dati, kay bilis ng sandali
> O kay tagal din kitang minahal
> Kung iisipin mo di naman dati ganito
> Teka muna lang, kelan tayo nailing?
> Kung iisipin mo, di naman dati ganito
> Kay bilis kasi ng buhay, pati tayo natangay
> O kay tagal din kita minahal
> Tinatawag kita sinusuyo kita
> Di mo man marinig, di mo man madama
> O kay tagal din kitang mamahalin...."
.....Take care & God bless! love ya' all!

alas! I'm here again after sometime..... it's been awhile since I last wrote something in this blog...... I'm still here wondering when can we be friends again..... it's really freaking me out..... I don't know if I'm just paranoid or what..... naywayz, I'm going to that counselling thing again tomorrow morning.... I'm excited as to what will I do.... naywayz again, this day was a boring one..... only had 1 subject for the day.... good thing I wasn't late! there isn't rally anything going on with my life right now..... I just hope I'll be able to pass all my subjects for this term.... naywayz again, I just want her back.... i miss those times so much.... as my counsellor said it takes time for the wounds to heal... but I know 1 day we'll be friends again.... hindi nga lang sa ngayon... naywayz, hanggang dito na lang muna.... I'll check up again some other time....

here I go again.... such a boring day..... I was late for my only class for the day! My goodness! Naywayz, earlier this morning, I still think of kath.... damn...... I'm so stupid letting that happen or letting that out to the world. I should'nt have done that..... Everything happpens for a reason..... it's just that my reason was so shallow.... I always thought of her as "mababaw", I thought she had no right to be mad..... that she was a bitch...... Man was I wrong! It really pains me to think that I loved too much so I lost evrything...... crash & burn..... This feeling sucks but what can I do? Andito na eh..... only time can heal everything that's been said & done..... I really hope 1 day I can still redeem myself...... I hope..... i just hope she can read what I'm writing in this blog..... I'm so disgusted of myself for whaterver I did.... I just want her back..... want her back.... that's all..... please God just give me 1 more chance to prove it was just a mistake..... please.....

Ah hi again..... damn.... I'm so stupid.... so selfish & self-centered..... now she is gone..... forever perhaps..... I can't blame her for saying things that way..... I just realized now...... I just can't get over.... now all I can do is pray.... she's such a perfect girl.... girl of my dreams... now she's gone...... I'm so naive...... all I can say right now is sorry! I thought she was a bitch to me.... now I know she has every reason to be a bitch to me...... I've embarrassed her.. if ever I can do something drastic about it I would've..... now it's just too late..... I'm saying shoulda woulda coulda.... naywayz thanks vida for making me realize my mistakes...... I was so stupid...... all I can do now is pray..... pray that 1 day I wake up & everything's fine.... i just wish & hope.... Damn....

Ah I'm back..... damn..... I just realized that I made a really big mistake..... I should blame myself for everything.... sure she had her faults but mine was bigger.... I was so selfish & self-centered....... I shouldn't have done that to her..... I'm so stupid giving a girl like her so much embarrassment.... I know I couldn't do anything now but I wish I still had another chance to redeem myself..... but as the saying goes "suntok na sa buwan yan"..... I feel so helpless.... I just couldn't move on.... now that I realized I myself had to be blamed for what happened..... I don't know if I still love her, but if that's the case, I'm a big loser.... I don't deserve someone like her...... she's such a perfect girl.... and now I couldn't even say hi..... now I know I deserve everything she told me... I'm that stupid.....

ah finally..... may bago na akong blogsite..... hindi ko kasi nagamit ung blogger ko noon.... naywayz..... its still too early to say anything about this day..... I'll just post another one later.... naywayz, i'll just give a start.... since we are classmates in a subject called algtrig, I always see her everyday..... and it sucks! when I hear her voice, I see her prescence.... it absolutely sucks!! Back in the days I used to love it.... her hair, her face, everything about her was just, amazing..... the way she slept, the way I held her hand(?) etc..... when we had this terrible fight it just destroyed me...... I was so down..... now I see her, after everything she told me like "you make me sick!", or "I won't die if he's not my friend.." absolutely kills me.... so much pain, but I can't do anything...... she holds the key.... I don't know really know..... naywayz, catch y'all later....