IT SEEMS
It seems like I can only blog on a sunday. I don't know what the hell is the problem of my computer. Y2K bug? Don't think so. It's 2004 for your info.

Anyway, aj's birthday last night. Nice bash for a literally small place. Gilbert & I were just talking all night about stuff. I miss that guy. Syempre we talked about love shit. Crap. We were looking for an open place since it was at the penthouse, maybe there was a place where I can get air and be quiet. To my surprise, there was none. Hope those burgundy peeps can put one.

And since I can't focus my attention on the birthday because of "her", I started to drink gin on the rocks. I had 5 or 6 shots straight until, yes, I got drunk AGAIN. For the 2nd time in 2 weeks. Its for a good caus eanyway so its alright.

Saw the high school 'kada. Some of them changed. Some didn't even change one bit. But in any case, I missed them real bad. I got home at 330 in the morning, had to accompany mary lynn home.

It seems like every day that passes I just can't seem to forget her. Its like this, my mood changes if she doesn't reply, I seem to worry about her if she's alright, if she's safe. And the best of them all is, I am happy at her prescence.

I think I love you. I hope you do, too.

Believe me, falling in love is the hardest thing a guy can ever go through.

Besides failing some of his subjects.

"At aking damdamin, pinaglalaruan ng baliw at ng ulan..."

Peace out!

FINALLY I GET THE TIME
To blog again. Man, it has been a crazy week. Been to a party, submission of machine projects, case defenses. Now we're on the final week of the 4th term of my stay in La Salle. So far, the only thing I'm scared of is Compro. No need to elaborate.

Anyway, I have long wanted to have my first girlfriend. I really have. with this passion, I also got my heart broken many times. But this time, I don't really know. I love her, yes, but, you see we're friends. If I'll try to court her, and doesn't work, I may be destroying another friendship. I love her more than everyone will ever know. I promise. And she's not her. To her: I love you. Kung alam mo lang sana kung gaano ako nahihirapan sa ganitong sitwasyon. Sana lang talaga magkaroon ako ng pagkakataon na patunayan sa iyo na mahal talaga kita.

Anyway, finally, our beloved De La Salle Green Archers won against a famed enemy, the Ateneo Blue Eagles. Let me try to write an essay about it. Here goes nothing:

"Earlier today, our Green Archers defeated the Blue Eagles in a contest that was supposed to be a 'contest like no other'. Sure, its more than just a basketball game. Sure, its about pride. Pride of 2 schools that are the best in this divided country of ours. Sure people enjoy the thrills of the game. I myself is a fan. But is this rivalry really just all about healthy competition? I really hope so.

We all know the stories that the Green Archers have been dubbed "sellouts" by our fellow la sallians for not showing the type of effort that they should show. I jsut hope that the game earlier was the start of the vindicating process they have been looking for. I just hope that the Archers realize that they are not playing to sell their dignity. They are playing for their pride. They are playing for an institution that has bred winners for decades. If they will just sell thier souls for some measly amounts of money, They can go to hell. They don't deserve to be in La Salle.

I hope the game today is the start of better things to come. If this is a sign from above, so be it.

To be the best, you have to beat the best. That was what La Salle did. Hats off to Ateneo for trying their best to come back. That's what true competition is about.

But for me, one phrase will always stick to my mind. Animo La Salle!"

Green pride burns deep.

I love you!

Peace out!

I'M CRAZY FOR THIS GIRL
Yeah, I'm so serious. I'm sorry I ate all the words that I said during my last entry. This is serious. The problem is she doesn't know how I feel. I don't want to tell her how I feel. It's better this way. We're better off as friends.

Damn. Why is it I always act this? I never change. I'm so stubborn.

Peace out!

FINALLY
I have knocked some sense back into my head. I have snapped out of my "weirdo" mode. Whew. What a relief.

Tin also has knocked some sense into my head. She was right. I should stop blaming her for what happened to me. I know she doesn't want that to happen either. Siguro we we just caught in circumstances that was beyond our control. Or to be more than friends...?

Anyway, I don't want to be in love for the time being. For one its distracting to the things that you should be more focused to. Second, I don't know, maybe I feel that I'm still not up to the pressures of having a girlfriend. Being patient doesn't make me lose anything. It even prolongs my life.

Just to clear it: hindi ako in love. Ayokong ma-in love. Mahirap ma- in love. Promise.

I'm just starting to realize that what I've been doing this past year was hindering me from doing what I was supposed to be doing in the first place- doing good in my studies. Yes, I'm serious. I'm finally snapping out of it. The withdrawal syndrome has finally taken its toll. I've grown sick of it. Yeah, real sick of it.

Some s21 peeps (the rumored soulblock of s15) saw our grade 6 class picture. I can't blame them for calling me "botchog" or "mukhang-siopao" (this was how yang described me kanina, and I have to admit I was surprised because we don't talk that often, or we don't even talk), or just a small fat guy. Yes, I was not tall back in elementary. I just grew this tall when I reached 2nd year.

I love being tall.

Walking tall baby.

I'm happy and proud of myself.

For getting over.

Damn straight baby!

Hell yeah!

Peace out!

QUESTION
If you are observing, am I acting strange these past few days? I mean the walks along gox lobby, sitting alone at the gallery, being struck with the "loner-trip", my sudden treating-everybody-onslaught... I mean I can feel something but I don't really know what it is.

Damn it.

I hate this feeling.

I think I'm gonna need a psychologist.

Peace out!

BUSINESS CASE
Yeah, and tomorrow (technically its already today) is the deadline. Just finished editing the final draft & the table of contents. Its really hard, even getting to your nerves sometimes. But its alright, I'm not complaining.

To "you": I understand you have found the right guy for you. I know you'll be happy with that "guy". Thanks for everything you gave me. Thanks for the times you wasted while with me. I don't know if you even liked some of those days I was with you but I surely did. Thanks for the friendship, if I ever became your friend. Thanks for everything. Just thank you.

"Its hard to let go of somebody. Its harder when that somebody doesn't like you at all." Please quote me on that.

Gotta go. I was actually just resting.

Peace out!

ONE HELL OF A DAY
Its been some how many days since I last updated. So many things has happened.
Let me start of with the saga of my life. Remember "her"? I heard that she can't make peace with me because she will just snob me. Oh man. If she don't want to make friends, its alright. Its cool. I heard things that I shouldn't have heard. So I would not say it here anymore.

Anyway, a really scary thing happened last saturday night. (Warning: this next xouple of sentences are graphic). I was at the CR peeing. I was wondering why it didn't come out that quick. So I forced it out. To the grwat shock of my life it was blood. Yes, blood. But then, after how many seconds, the blood was clearing up and the natural urine was starting to show. But, to my surprise, when the doctor checked me out yesterday, he saw nothing! In my urinalysis, it was clean. In my blood chemistry, it was clear. Real weird. They are going to put me on ultrasound in the next couple of days. I'm really hoping that its nothing serious.

Compro departmentals tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Peace out!